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This weekend my husband bought a roasting pan, and it reminded me of the parable of the roasting pan.

A young couple was in couples counseling. During one session, the therapist invited each partner to share some idiosyncrasies about the other that drove them nuts.

The husband asked “Why do you always cut the ends of the roast off? It’s a total waste of good meat!”

The wife responded, “My mom always cut the ends off the roast, so that’s how I learned to cook a roast.”

The therapist asked why her mom cut the ends off the roast. The wife didn’t know, so the therapist encouraged her to ask her mom.

She asked her mom, and her mom said “Because my mom always cut the ends off the roast, so that’s how I learned to cook a roast. Ask your grandma.”

So she asked her grandma, who had the same response, and told her to ask her great-grandma.

So she did. Great-grandma’s response? “I cut the ends off of the roast because our roasting pan was small and the roast never fit.”

The Parable of the Roasting Pan | Cynthia Farrell | 110 West Group

As we meander down our #leadershipjourney, it’s important that we intentionally take moments for #reflection on the behaviors we’ve picked up from others. We need to ask ourselves if those behaviors are truly ours and reflect the leader we want to be. Or have we taken on attributes of other leaders that might not be a fit.

Here’s a simple exercise: Take an hour (or less!) to write down the names of leaders whose leadership behaviors you tend to emulate. Write down those behaviors, and why you choose to embody them. Then ask yourself if the behaviors make sense for you. 

If you’re cutting the ends off of the roast without really knowing why you might find that your roast fits your roasting pan just fine.

What leadership behavior did you pick up from someone else that you eventually let go of because it didn’t feel right for you?

If you’d like to explore your personal roasting pan or other leadership journey concepts with a leader who’s been there, contact me and let’s talk about how I can support you 1:1 as your coach and advisor.

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