Leaders, if you’re looking to coach versus problem-solving or giving advice, try starting with a simple statement: “Tell me more.”
I began to weave “Tell me more” into my conversations a number of years ago and found there is rarely a situation where it doesn’t elicit important context WITHOUT feeling overly coach-y.
Let’s call your employee Jamie.
Jamie: I can’t deal with Bob–he’s so passive-aggressive.
You: Tell me more.
Jamie: I don’t feel like there’s a career path for me here.
You: Tell me more.
Jamie: There’s no way I can get all of this done by the deadline.
You: Tell me more.
Jamie: This process isn’t working.
You: Tell me more.
Those three simple words open up dialogue so that you can get a fuller picture.
Think of a situation recently where an employee has come to you with a challenge. It’s likely that “Tell me more” would have been a helpful first response.
To be fair, this wouldn’t work in every situation. If Jamie comes to you and asks “When do you need this?”, “Tell me more” might be a bit awkward. And irritating. But if they’re looking for advice or guidance, it almost always fits.
After they tell you more, maybe you do give advice. Maybe you share your experience with a story. Maybe you keep coaching and ask “What else?” and then “What ideas do you have?”
3 simple words. “Tell me more.” Magic.
Have you tried this phrase? Tell me more.
Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash
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