Your team just hit a milestone two years in the making. Do they feel they can celebrate? Or are they just slogging on to what’s next?
A CEO I work with hit a revenue threshold last week that completely changed her company’s valuation position – something the team has been working toward for two years. I asked what she was planning to do to celebrate.
“We still have a lot of work to do.”
I asked again. “What’s one small thing you could do today to celebrate this?”
She paused. “I could leave a little early and have a glass of champagne.”
“Is Everett (the CFO) in the office today with you?”
“Yeah, he’s here.”
“Take him, and anyone else around. Just do it,” I said. She did (which I confirmed the next day).
I told my husband about this exchange – he knows this client well – and he said something that landed:
Leaders are either thrill of victory or agony of defeat. The thrill of victory types are energized by wins, they chase that feeling. The agony of defeat types are never satisfied, a win is never good enough, they’re motivated more by losses than wins. Michael Jordan was agony of defeat – he admitted it. Always pushing for more, for better.
When a leader actually stops to acknowledge and celebrate a win, they generate momentum from both types. The thrill of victory people are encouraged to win more. The agony of defeat people start thinking about how to win better next time.
But if you only operate in agony of defeat mode – if you never pause, never mark the milestone, never let the team feel the win – you demoralize the people who are genuinely excited. You train them that nothing is ever enough. You make the pursuit exhausting instead of energizing.
This CEO built something significant over two years. Her team delivered. And her first instinct was to dismiss it and move to what’s next.
If you’re an “agony of defeat” leader, how many wins have passed unmarked because you confused celebration with complacency? And what would your best people say about whether it’s worth winning at all?
Edited to add: when my husband and I were talking about this, we considered who is a “thrill of victory” person. I said Lindsey Vonn. This was before she crashed on the downhill. Today I read her post-crash musing that says “Knowing I stood there having a chance to win was a victory in and of itself … I tried. I dreamt. I jumped.” Point made.
Hey there! I’m a leadership team whisperer, executive coach, and speaker. I guide leadership teams in high-growth companies to achieve rapid growth in a healthy, sustainable way. I coach senior leaders to discover the path to lead with ease.
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