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Raise your hand if you’re super excited about your upcoming performance review conversation!


Yeah, probably not. But it’s that time of year.

And regardless of how the feedback is delivered, receiving feedback is generally something we can improve upon.

Remember, you can’t control the feedback or how it’s delivered. But you can control your reaction.

Here’s an approach you can take into that performance conversation:

When you’re receiving feedback, there are two responses you can make and two outcomes you can take.

Two Responses:

  • Thank you


  • Tell me more.

Don’t disregard it, debate it, or dismiss it in the moment. Listen (even if it’s delivered poorly). Try not to react. Absorb. Reflect and digest.

(Hint: This is a great opportunity to practice curiosity!)

From there decide from

Two Outcomes:

  • Action on it.
  • Archive it.

Action could mean making a change, focusing on your development, or asking others for their input (without loading the question). It could mean going back to the person for a conversation to share your perspective and what you’re going to do or not do with the feedback.

As for Archive, if you don’t agree with the feedback, I suggest you archive it, not ignore it. If the same feedback comes around again, you dig around in the Archive, and you might discover a trend line. That’s something to pay attention to.

These guidelines are helpful for positive feedback too–we generally suck at receiving positive feedback–and can make it much less awkward (although perhaps “tell me more” as a response to positive feedback needs to be used judiciously).

For all we fret about GIVING feedback, we can get much better at RECEIVING it too.

And go figure–when someone is good at receiving feedback, it gets much easier to give it. What are your tips for receiving feedback well?

Hey there, I’m Cynthia. I’m a leadership team whispererexecutive coach, and speaker. I guide leadership teams in high-growth companies to achieve rapid growth in a healthy, sustainable way. I coach senior leaders to discover the path to lead with ease.

Like this post? Want to see more? Connect with me on LinkedIn.

Feedback Carousel | 110 West Group | Cynthia Farrell

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