Here’s the thing about the voices in your head: they got you here, but they might not get you there.
In a recent coaching session, I was guiding a client through “parts work”—a framework that helps us identify the internal voices shaping our behavior, our “inner team.
He named one of his strongest parts “Effort.” When I asked “Effort” what role it plays, he said: “I’m the part that pushes. That strives. That always goes a little bit harder because I believe hard work is the only path to legitimacy.”
That definition didn’t emerge from thin air. This leader grew up in a blue-collar environment where hustle wasn’t optional—it was survival. He built his career in an industry quick to question your work ethic if you slowed down, and even quicker to assume entitlement if you hadn’t “earned your stripes.”
I get it. My own parts work revealed one of my key parts as “Special”—the high achiever, the one the adults were always proud of. When my coach asked what the opposite of special was, I said “Average.” Then he asked how often Special allows Average onto the team. I scoffed: “Cynthia can’t be average.”
But here’s what I’ve learned, especially this year: sometimes Average is exactly what I need. This has been a hard, heavy year personally, and I’ve had to be okay with a “good and solid” business year instead of the growth I planned. It’s not the season for Special to run the show. It’s the season for taking care of myself.
My client is learning the same thing. While Effort helped him succeed, he’s making space for another part: “Relaxed.” Not disengaged—grounded. Present. Capable of delivering results without burning out. The part that believes his value doesn’t need proving every day through exertion.
As I told him, “Maybe it’s time to shift the balance of voices on your inner team.”
The work of leadership isn’t just building new skills. It’s recognizing which parts of your inner team are calling the shots—and consciously choosing who gets to lead in each moment.
What parts are driving you right now? And more importantly: are they still the ones you want behind the wheel?
Looking to increase the cohesion, trust, and impact of your leadership team? Reach out and let’s discuss The Compass Team Experience and how I can help.
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