It wasn’t her. It was me.
A few weeks ago on a Tuesday, I took my dog Evie for a walk. I was tired, cranky, impatient—just not my best self.
When we got back, my husband asked how it went.
“Terrible. She wasn’t checking in, wouldn’t respond to commands, completely lost her nut when she saw another dog.”
The next day, same walk. Different me. I’d slept well, was in a good mood, had gotten a lot done that morning.
We got back. My husband asked how it went.
“Great! She did all the right things, responded to everything, was perfect when we saw another dog.”
I saw the truth immediately: Evie didn’t change; I did.
There’s a saying in dog training: your mood travels down the leash. That Tuesday, my stress coursed down that six-foot lead straight into her nervous system. She was doing her best to tell me I was making her anxious. I was too busy blaming her to hear it.
Now, I’m not equating your leadership team to my dog. (Though some days…)
But the principle holds: your mood, your energy, your stress—it travels. Your team feels it even when you think you’re hiding it. Unlike Evie, they can’t just pull toward a squirrel to make it obvious something’s off.
Strong, effective teams operate differently–they’ve built the trust to call it out directly.
Someone can say, “Hey, what’s going on with you today?”
Or even, “Friend, you’re not showing up the way I think you want to.”
Not as an attack. As an act of care. As a way to clear the air before the tension travels down every metaphorical leash in the organization.
Without that trust? Everyone assumes they’re the problem. They pull back. They tiptoe. They start guessing which version of you will show up today.
Your mood is traveling. The question is whether your team can tell you.
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