There is a stringent position in the coaching community that “coaches don’t give advice.” Bold take: I don’t subscribe to that.
Here’s why: I’ve sat at the senior leadership table. I know what it’s like to navigate challenging relationships, deliver hard feedback, and make decisions when the stakes are high. And when my clients are struggling with those very things, I don’t just ask esoteric questions and hope they find their way.
Let me be clear: asking powerful questions drives meaningful insights leading to true transformation. That’s the core of coaching.
And. And. Once you get clear on the mindset and blocks, it’s time for action.
That’s where the questions can get irritating.
I ask for permission: “Can I offer a suggestion?” or “Can I share my experience?”
From there, I offer tools that work.
For example, if a leader is struggling to give feedback, we explore through active inquiry what they’re really reacting to and feeling, what’s holding them back from giving the feedback, what outcome they want, and what they’ll do if they don’t get it.
But when it comes to actually giving the feedback, I don’t make them reinvent the wheel. I have a feedback model that I know works in real-world situations, and I share it with them. Not as “the one right way,” but as a starting point—a tool they can try on for size.
Then I ask, “How does this resonate with you?” We customize from there.
I’m not attached to whether they use my model. What matters to me is that they find an approach that works.
Some coaches are firm about not giving advice—I get that. I’m starting to wonder, though, how much of that is based on not having lived experience to position them to even have advice to give.
My experience at the senior leadership table lets me offer practical tools alongside thoughtful questions, and my clients value that.
The way I see it, my job isn’t just to help you reflect. It’s to help you move forward.
What do you think? Should coaches give advice, or just ask questions?
Looking to increase the cohesion, trust, and impact of your leadership team? Reach out and let’s discuss The Compass Team Experience and how I can help.
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